Do you want to laugh?

There was as braindead woman in the hospital. Well her nurse came in to give her a sponge bath. Well he was cleaning her, and got down to her genetalia---and he noticed that her brainwave patterns rose alittle. So he calls the doc in and says "You know, doc I was just giving mrs. jones her sponge bath and I noticed her brainwaves were stimulated when I reached her genetalia and he showed the doc. Well, the doc called the husband to come down to the hospital. When her hubby got there, he explained the situation and politely asked him to perform oral sex on his wife to see if he help them out. Well the husband was in there for a few minutes and came out white as a ghost. The doc asked him what happened. He said "my wife's dead. She flatlined. I did what you told me to do, she couldn't swallow it and choked to death.

Do you want to laugh?performing arts center

haha here is one for u

Two Women meet while waiting at the Pearly Gates.....

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Wendy. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm %26amp; sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.

But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman:I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every

closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman:Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

Do you want to laugh?sunshine opera theater

Ha Ha Ha
Haha))) CoooL!
Heard it B4; but it's still good and it made me smile. WTG!!!!!!!!
haha
hahaha
I didn't laugh not even to death.
ROFL!!! Ohmigod!!! LOL!!

Here's one for you (kinda long, but it's worth it):

This guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. After a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.

The bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot %26amp; if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."

After a few more beers %26amp; 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" %26amp; he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"

"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth %26amp; you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs %26amp; persuade the lady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin %26amp; she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."

"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" %26amp; lo %26amp; behold, he managed; to everyone's shock, to finish the whole bottle without pause.

Barely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned %26amp; nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door %26amp; bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling %26amp; groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.

Shortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds %26amp; looking like he'd been hit by a truck.

Then demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"

Cheers!
For, the first time I read a joke on here that was actually funny! THAT WAS FREAKIN HILARIOUS!
ok , but the one in monocube answer is superb
******** could be many things. and I've read better.
thank you for the good laugh to day I needed it.
HAHA, I NEEDED THAT. THANKS!
Some good jokes here monocube and saliberry your both brill
ahahahahaha..*pause*..ahahahahaha.. got napkins..oh geeze that is so funny.. ahahahaha